It was a good couple days. My scrapbook from my London trip (two years ago) has finally been completed, and I toted it home so I could leave the fat thing on the kitchen table in my parent's house. Next project: painting. I brought back up here all of my blank canvases, all my paints, my overpriced paintbrushes, and am trying to come up with something to use as a makeshift easel.
It's snowing white chunks all over the car outside and sometimes I think I can hear them hit the pavement, though I know it's just my imagination giving their sparkle an impossible weight.
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I am purposefully not addressing a traumatic experience I had this weekend but I feel I should bring it up. My personal laptop has crashed and died, taking with it to its grave some of my longest journal entries, some of my oldest poems, some new words I've inscribed in the last year, and nearly all of my photographs from this life.
I feel as if something inside me has died and I am in the first stage: Denial.
Denial that I will never see some poems again, because I never gave them to anyone else but my screen.
Denial that those frozen images of ghosted relationships will never be lovingly caressed by my nostalgic eyes.
Denial that some of my creative stories have vanished, and taken their worlds with them into the nether of the electronic age.
Down with technology. Down with internet and typing and hard disks that crash.
I almost thought I wouldn't be able to get onto my blog, because I couldn't remember the password. But I made a lucky guess and here I am.
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I'm excited for this week. Even though "snow" is on the forecast for the next five days.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry about your computer crashing!! I wouldn't know what I'd do without mine. It has my life on here -- especially the photos.
you should look into having a professional geek scope it out and potentially recover the data....i know for a fact that it's not over till the geek says that it is.....and sometimes that data is just hiding till the right person can extract it....
good luck, dear!
I agree with Michael Condrad, Jr. Is this just a power supply failure, or a hard drive? One means that it just won't turn on and all the data is still there. The other means that you need to see a professional geek. Good luck.
The video card crashed; the video card is connected to the motherboard; the motherboard shorted out and carried it to the connection with the hard drive; the hard drive sucked up the shortage and wigged itself out.
Moral of the story: get a simple computer.
"Geek" diagnosis: I've extracted the hard drive from the computer and inserted it into my external reader, plugged it into another computer and ....
my life has been wiped from the driver.
Sometimes it pays to be your own computer geek.
Sometimes it sucks because you know when hope is gone.
>=(
I think that's gonna compel me to back up onto my external right now. The act of which is always followed by 'What if my external crashes?! Maybe I should get a backup backup?" Repeat ad nauseum.
I always get really antzy before I format my camera's main card. I end up deleting all but the best pics from a given set, continuously wittling down this stream of images to a relatively ancient little handful. Whittling down this big branch of experiences and observations till it's toothpick thin in order to make room for new shots. When this gets too obnoxiously tenuous (or I get to where the only remaining photos are my very favorite 1% and I can't choose which to delete next,) Then I check that they've been saved in 3 places... again... and hit format. Then get spooked that I forgot something.
This doesn't practically make me neurotic though, b/c I'm so absent-minded that it only happens once every other month.
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