I crave honesty. Trust.
I am wary to admit it, because I know many of you read Me for encouragement, inspiration ... My loves, today: I am discouraged. Hold me in your hearts, please.
In other news: I built a fire all on my own. But it's pointless to build it if there's no one to share it.
I'd like a road-map. A script. 3x5 cue cards that feed me the right lines. A floating orb of Destiny. A "One Way" sign.
I'd like a hug. I'd like wisdom.
Oh, I crave wisdom.
and a hug.
So God gave me this:
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope.
"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own LOVE for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
(Romans 5:1-8)
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
they are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
"I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore
I will wait for him.'
[...]
"I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit.
You heard my plea: 'Do not close your ears to my cry
for relief.'
You came near when I called you, and you said,
'Do Not Fear.'"
(from Lamentations 3)
I shouldn't complain. I have a job, and a roof over my head. But it's a weakness of my heart. I crave ... comprehension. A vision for my future beyond job security.
4 comments:
This post is exactly what the last four to five months have felt like for me. I wish I had spent more time looking to God. Everything may seem fine because all your basic needs are being met, but why does everything feel horribly wrong?
Hugs are really fantastic. Better than bandaids. You have no idea how many times I wish that Jesus incarnate would come back just to give me a real hug instead of a spiritual/emotional/psychological one.
I would also like to add that you know you're an English major when you use ellipses and brackets when quoting scripture :)
You're speaking to my heart, Lynne.
Again, this is such an echo of what I've felt and continue to feel at times. You're in my prayers.
:) and both of you are in mine, everyday
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